


After Cayde

by oceaneyesinla



Series: The Continuing Adventures of Alix and Nox [2]
Category: Destiny (Video Games)
Genre: F/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-09-13
Updated: 2020-09-13
Packaged: 2021-03-06 23:14:17
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 545
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26437027
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/oceaneyesinla/pseuds/oceaneyesinla
Summary: Just a little thought with the latest quest in D2, going to all the planets for Zavala as part of the evacuation. Alix has been fighting so hard for so long ... has anyone actually checked on her?
Relationships: Cayde-6/Female Guardian (Destiny)
Series: The Continuing Adventures of Alix and Nox [2]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1922857
Kudos: 9





	After Cayde

**Author's Note:**

> Hello! This popped into my head at 3 in the morning and wouldn't leave me alone. My Guardian, Alix, has had a rough couple of years. I just wanted to explore why she was pushing on like there wasn't a crapton on trauma building up.  
> Sidenote, her and Cayde were together and after he died, she kinda took responsibility for the Hunters.
> 
> Please leave any feedback you have. I haven't written properly in a long time and certainly not for Destiny. I'm hoping that Beyond Light gives me some new inspiration for the game because I truly love my Guardian.

"Why are you doing this to yourself, Alix?" There was no judgement in her friend's voice; just concern and that's what made her pause. She couldn't remember the last time someone had been … concerned. Sure, when it first happened, everyone watched her take out the Barons as if she was one step away from falling into a black hole she could never escape from. Since then, however, since Riven and the Barons and the Dreaming City; now it was all behind them, everyone had stepped back and left her standing on the edge alone - staring into the abyss. Lucky for her, Nightstalkers lived on that knife edge, always one wrong move away from the Void. The Void was a comfort; a constant presence that held her steady. It was one of the few things that could these days.

It took her a moment to find her voice, because she knew Ana was asking a far bigger question - why did she carry on like nothing had happened? Why did she take over Cayde's mantle and lead the Hunters, despite never being named as the new Vanguard? Why did she break herself over and over again for people who always needed more than she could give?

"Because Cayde asked me to look after our Hunters. He asked me to look after his Fireteam. The world is falling apart around us and, well, I've learned a lot about that feeling over the last couple of years." She stopped and started again, quieter this time, "I have to do this, Ana. If I don't … if I stop now, I'll break down and never put myself back together again."

It was only here, far away from her responsibilities and her Hunters and her Vanguard that she could verbalise everything on her mind. Losing Cayde had almost destroyed her. He wasn't supposed to die; him and Sundance should have been safe in the Tower. He always told her to be careful; said he couldn't live with losing her like he lost Andal. If this was how he felt, she could understand his fear of a repeat.

Ana was silent for a moment, taking in her words, "I get it. But remember, the world keeps going, even if you feel like you're at a standstill. You're allowed to break down; if you fall apart, you have a family that'll put you back together." Alix jumped as a hand touched her shoulder but quickly relaxed, letting herself be pulled into Ana's arms. All the grief she had bottled up in an attempt to hold the Vanguard together and to be the leader the Hunters needed rushed to the surface at once and she cried. 

She cried for her husband, she cried for the Fireteam he left behind and for the Hunters he left in his wake. But most importantly, she cried for the pieces of herself that had been lost along the way. Parts of her were unrecognisable and she knew she would never be the same. However, on the dusty surface of Mars, secure in the embrace of a trusted friend, she dared to hope that one day, she would find those pieces and be able to do more than survive. After all, Cayde had asked her to look after herself, too.

**Author's Note:**

> Thanks for reading and I hope you enjoyed it! Hopefully, I'll write more for Alix and it'll be a little less miserable!


End file.
